Biscuit Burning Chronicles – 2

Biscuit Burning Chronicles: Take II

 

Aaaaannnnnnnd…ACTION!

 

 

Ok so, I am currently unemployed.

 

Yes.

 

Again.

 

Trust me. One of my friends is probably praying to all the Ubiquitously Omniscient celestial beings for something to come along, anything really, before I completely turn into a shamefaced, shut-in and take it all out on her. <– It’s happened. I’m not particularly proud of it, but it’s happened.

 

And I am well on my way to shut-insville, too! I wear sweat pants at least 2 days a week (FINE! 4! Happy!?). I stay up until unGodly hours of the night. I work out on occasion. I’ve become obsessed with politics, for good reason, but not for the reasons you would think.

I don’t really care about, birth control, because I can’t buy pretty things to get a date, so that need is moot. Plus I don’t have a job, which means I don’t have healthcare, and even if there was that whole mandate thing, I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY! So I couldn’t get it anyway (yea I know there is a free section included in the mandate).

Living with my parents seems to be such an awesome highlight in my life, sooo…eff your student loan reform! I’M NEVER LEAVING!!!!…or at least that’s what it feels like.

When you don’t have money to put gas in your car, then car insurance doesn’t seem all that necessary, does it? Trust me. The car. It’s not going anywhere. Just sitting in the driveway collecting pollen and bird shit. I mean since gas costs as much as a box of cereal now, which I’m not sure if that statement is a dig at how outrageous the prices have gotten for cereal or for gas, I have so serious decisions to make.

More over, my passion for politics really got amped up when Romney tried to take the last thing I have going for me — QUALITY, daytime tv programing – i.e. Sesame Street and PBS. <– Let me be honest: I am really watching NickJr. Little Bill is my homeboy.

 

Listen. I have standards. I’m not wasting my life on Kelly and Michael or The View or The View’s bootleg cousin, The Talk (which it’s name…I feel like, at some time during the broadcast, someone’s mom or dad is going to hijack it and start in with, “There comes a time in every person’s life…” or, “When a mommy and a daddy love each other sooo much…” or, “I was watching Dateline and…”

I just can’t.

 

I mean I really don’t care what Kanye and Kim did over the weekend.

I don’t.

 

You know why?!

 

Because it probably wasn’t the broke ass, #TheStruggle type shit I do, like say, oh I don’t know, catch up on tv shows you purposefully missed during the week so you would have something to do over the weekend. <– That is so sad. SO sad.

Yea, no. I’m good. I’d much rather learn Spanish, or how to count again, or how to use my imagination so I can make-believe I have a job, and with that job that job I am deemed a productive and upstanding member of society.

You know, participate with the lessons, doing whatever it takes so that my brain doesn’t atrophy so bad that I cannot form complete complex thoughts.

 

But you know what? All of that isn’t even what this B.B.C. is about.

 

Nope.

 

This is actually about the persistent way LinkedIn keeps reminding me that my former supervisor really hates me.

 

A LOT.

 

I mean I would go into the story, but I don’t really know if it’s worth it. It’s one of those things where you know you did something wrong, and all other solicited opinions agree that you may have done something wrong, but nothing so wrong that it warranted the over the top “scolding” you received from your boss, that, most likely, bordered on unprofessional. And you did everything you could think of to make professional amends, but to no avail, thus making that person, in your mind, now dead to you. But that’s not even good enough because you were dead to them first. <– Dammit!

 

Let’s not even bring up the whole, you ran into that boss a week later and they pretended like nothing even happened, which made you feel like a whole crazy person.

 

Man. Whatever.

 

That’s not even my issue. I’m taking my issue up with LinkedIn.

 

Mm-hm I said LinkedIn.

 

I’m on LinkedIn now more than I’ve ever been before. I use it much in the same way anyone else would use social media; to stalk research your more successful friends who, undoubtedly, have better lives and, as a result, make you hate yourself even more. Oh, and to find HR recruiting people to desperately stalk connect with in order to find a job or a lead. <– F*ck that whole “build relationships” crap. The recruiters do not want to be annoyed, and I do not want to annoy them. Simple as that! “Build relationships.” FOH!

 

Oh, LinkedIn, how I adore thee.

 

That is until you keep repeatedly asking me if I know my former boss.

 

Yes, LinkedIn, I know that woman. Yes, she used to be my “benevolent” overlord.

No, I will not connect with her.

 

She hates me.

 

Please refrain from sending me frantic emails asking me if I know her. Stop making her the top right pick on EVERY Link suggestion page, because your doing that makes me almost click on her, EVERY SINGLE TIME, since she has been placed/advertised in my prime clicking space.

LinkedIn you are, dangerously, on the verge of becoming Facebook with these one-off professional connection suggestions. However, Facebook has the decency to allow you to deny any social associations to someone and won’t bring it up for at lest 3 days. A week if you’re lucky.

I don’t really dislike you, LinkedIn. I simply do not want to be reminded of how much she hates me. I mean sure I possibly probably burned an awesome professional bridge all by myself (The Devil made me do it!). So, I don’t want to be reminded that I probably led her to that hatred, but, you know, I’ll never really know if that’s true because she’s taken passive aggression to a who new level and won’t man-up and say something. <– I’m allowed to be passive aggressive, at times, because I have my own blog.

#WhoGonCheckMe

 

 

You mad?

 

Why you mad?

 

Don’t be mad.

 

 

I guess it’s whatever since I can’t do anything about the actual situation. I certainly will not be the bigger person and request her, just to get it off of my suggestions list (which actually isn’t a bad idea), because.

 

Just because.

 

It’s all about principle. Plus that would really come off as the ultimate sign of passive aggression. Shit. I might just do it.

 

C’est la vie. <– Learned that from the 3am Muzzy infomercial. #BOOM

 

Anywho, LinkedIn just chill with the suggestions. I have learned how to stal– I mean, research for nouns – people, places and things – like no other. I know who I want in my professional network and who I don’t. Just keep up the good professional social networking work.

 

Oh, and, make companies with duplicate company groups consolidate them.

 

PLEASE! It’s super annoying. KThanks!

 

All my love,

~TheMeanBlackGirl

 

 

Speak your mind…

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About themeanblackgirl

My name says it all!
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