When Girl Meets Boy…

Prologue:

Have you ever loved somebody so much, it makes you cry?

Have you ever needed something so bad, you can’t sleep at night?

Have you ever tried to find the words, but they don’t come out right?…”

No?

Me neither.

I have, or should I say I am, witnessing a whirlwind love affair worthy of big screen attention.

Ok…that may be a little over exaggerated, but that’s the way I feel about it; here’s why:

This is the classic story of “star crossed lovers.”<– Yes I did just reference Romeo and Juliet.

Now these two crazy kids, full well knowing the history, familial and social implications of their “forbidden” romance and the consequences they may face if this thing jumps off the way I think (::crosses fingers:: hopes) it might…

They just don’t care.*

She’s a Hindu/Catholic. He’s a Muslim. <– This has familial and social implications that as an American, a Christian and an Ultra-Liberal I just cannot get my life around. Any one who watches the news knows how these groups’ relationships are with each other around the world (in a political sense), and, here, absolutely nothing is different.

Act 1: The History Lesson

At one point in time (about the time of Gandhi) this wasn’t that big a deal. Hindus and Muslims lived side by side in peace. There were areas in the country where if a majority of one or the other was prevalent, then that area was deemed “owned” by the majority. Peace was still there and no one, seemingly, had any issues (granted this is an over generalization, but I’m doing so to give a quick history overview)…but things change. As Gandhi gained more momentum with his message of non-violence against the British, and they started to get really pissed, they began to divide and conquer. The British began to pit the Hindu and Muslim Indians against each other, because that was seemingly the only difference they had. Back then it seemed these people were Indian first and Hindu/Muslim, second. Fighting on the basis of religion, although I’m sure it happened in the past, wasn’t what was going down as these people tried to move the country out of oppression. Long story shortened: British pit these folks against each other so much so that it reached the political leaders who, by the way, were good friends with Gandhi throughout his life– one was Hindu, one was Muslim. The two guys were then fighting for complete control of India (as Prime Minister) and neither was willing to back down. As a result: Pakistan. Pakistan was created north of India due to its large Muslim population and the country was split. All except this little state called Kashmir. Now this state was majority Muslim, but had a Hindu Maharaja (king, governor, etc) who decided to give his state to India instead of Pakistan.

And so starts the fighting.

Family issues: Plain and simple- You can bring anyone home (after you get to a certain age…err 25…they just hope you get married) except to a Hindu/Muslim.

Why?

Oh I didn’t mention that these people would, essentially, be facing disownment?!

No?!?

Hmm, silly me.

Here’s the missing factor: Have you ever not had a choice in what you do with your life? Yea me neither, but in India your family IS your life, to the point that they control every single aspect of it. For example, we (in the US) get to choose what we study in college, where we go to school, WHO WE MARRY! Here…yea that’s not the case usually AND it goes for both women and men, but, as always, the rules are held more staunchly for women. A comment was made to me recently that, and this is solely that person’s POV, they believe the Indian families marry the young women off at early ages (i.e. 18-19) because their fontal lobe isn’t fully developed, thereby meaning their personality and complete sense of self are not fully formed thus making them more malleable and subservient to their husband’s will. Again, this isn’t my opinion, but it may be making a valid point, albeit a biological one. Most people don’t have a neurological background and cannot speak to how much influence an underdeveloped frontal lobe has on being married at an early age, but, just speaking as a regular non-medical doctor person, I would say there is a certain maturity factor that is necessary before you promise your life to someone forever– let alone someone you’ve never met before and that you had no part in even choosing because the general consensus is that your family knows what’s best for you, to hell with the fact that you’re an adult with an MBA.

Moving on…

Social issues: If you break the previous rule, you are no longer allowed to go to Temple or Mosque. You are no longer accepted by your respective community as a whole or, in some cases, your family. SHAME!! SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!! Sorry little AWOL Hindu girl, no family Pooja celebrations for you. Sorry little AWOL Muslim boy, no family Mawlid (the birth of Muhammad) celebrations for you.

Don’t get it?

Lemme break it down for you: It’s like how race relations were in the US (i.e.- No blacks and whites could marry maybe up until, what, maybe the LATE 60s {see Loving v. Virgina Supreme Court case}). That means NO CHRISTMAS for you, because you like (or very well may even love) someone who is not only not your race, but is, essentially, your race’s mortal enemy. <– This is clear usage of hyperbole to make a point…but you get it.

Act 2: Reality

There is political unrest in the country (no worries, not where I am) due to a 60 year old court trial trying to figure out if the site where a Muslim mosque was built was actually the grounds where it is believed one of the most revered Indian deities was born. It’s also a classic case of which religion wronged who first and who has the exclusive rights to this particular lot of holy land.

Only recently did we find out that one of the country’s high courts was going to rule on the matter (::ahem:: 2 days prior to their date). <–Hmm.

…Awkward…

Have you ever watched someone come to a painful realization? Not physical pain, but a pain that you can clearly see surface as they run through all of the possible outcomes and the last one that they tackle…that last one is the one that makes them look completely drained, helpless even, because they’ve come to the realization that no matter how much you may want something, there are larger powers that, for all intents and purposes, can stop you. I watched The Voice go through that very tough process when she found out that a ruling was going to be made. In my personal opinion, she looked worse for wear. Like she knew that no matter what, this was an uphill battle where maybe both, one or neither of them would make it to the top.

As I watched her, I saw the true magnitude of the situation set in the frown lines of her usually smiling face, just as she came to this revelation, and I was safe. I was safe because although I empathize for her, for them, this isn’t my fight. No matter how much I’m there for them and how much I’m behind them for each and every step of the way, I’ve managed to not have to bear the weight of their reality. A reality that bluntly states, ” No matter how much of a good person you are, no matter how many people you have cared about, and no matter how much you love someone, there are other forces in the world, in life, forces that be, that refuse to give you what you want.” Or, more importantly, what you outright deserve.

The Ruling: The Mosque was built on what the judges proclaimed as being the deity’s birthplace. However, instead of just giving the land to Hindus, as the general opinion assumed (and the media proclaimed) would happen, the land is going to be split up into thirds: One to Muslims, one to the Government, and the last to Hindus.

The Muslims are going to appeal to the Supreme Court.

Act 3: Cast & Crew

What I realize is that I haven’t told you much about them as people. Truth be told I don’t think I could give an accurate picture of them with out bias to support the evident point I’m trying to make: Screw everyone else and do what you want.

But…I’ll do my best to lay down what I feel is an accurate picture of who they are.

The Voice:

She is a good person. I think, for the most part, everyone starts off with that classification and then, as you get to know them, may or may not live up to it. She, however, is all deserving of my classifying her as such. She’s a bit of a brat, but, ehh, who isn’t right. I kinda chalk that up to her being an only child (#kanyeshurg). One of the smartest and intuitive people I’ve had the pleasure to meet in a very long time. As I said before, she’s always smiling and has a voice that when you hear it, you can’t help but smile either (hence she’s named “The Voice”)..

She also has really nice teeth.

Is that weird?

Maybe a little…

But they are really nice teeth.

Shiny…

You know…just in case you were wondering.

…sorry…

Dude:

Ok…I really don’t know him. I mean I’ve met him, but, honest to God, he may have only spoken a total of 10 words to me, ehh maybe 11 (and I may have only understood 5 or 6 of them). <– This is not a diss; it’s the truth.

Though it may be difficult for me to give an “accurate” assessment of his character, I’m still going to try anyway.

But first…

He’s hot.

Like real hot.

Like super, exotic, Persian** god hot…all 5′ 2″ of him!! LOL (j/k…he’s definitely 5′ 5″ or 6″). He has a “strong” clean shaven jaw, pouty man lips, “kind” soft bedroom eyes with the longest, prettiest eyelashes evvverrrrr!!!! And he’s husky (again, not fat husky, but muscle husky…kinda looks like he’s shrugging his shoulders all the time).<– No seriously.

But this is less about what he looks like and more about him as a man. As a man he is to be respected. Strong, silent type. Doesn’t say anymore than he needs to in order to get his point across. Extremely focused on making something of himself in the future through his own hard work.

Now you all may be thinking, “Seriously, you got all of that from just looking at dude? Seriously?!”

Uhhh…yes and no.

::sigh::

Ok so he has this Friend, right…and umm…I mean, cause see what had happened was…I mean I was just trying to go to the ATM and then buy some gifts for a few folks back home, right, and I didn’t even have any intentions to meet anyone; I mean I put that idea out of my mind 5 months ago when I found I was coming to India. So, anyway, I’m buying a necklace (in the same jewelry store where The Voice laid pimp game down so decent the day before and scooped her Butter Pecan Persian) and I see in the adjacent shop they have some wood carvings and shawls that I know a few people at home would really like. After The Voice haggled the price of the necklace down BY HALF (using her “come and get it” face {awkward}), I paid, got up and walked across the hall to achieve two very deliberate goals:

1. Don’t be a Blocker: No one likes a blocker. That’s all I’mma say on that.

2. I am really behind on getting souvenirs for people back home. Like REALLY behind. So I hoped there were some more nice things on the other side to pick up.

In my effort to kill two birds with one stone, I rolled across the hall…and got stopped dead in my tracks by another sexy shop keeper of Persian persuasion.

::whispers to self:: Damn.

Dude had me stuck, with a stupid half grin and raised right eyebrow.

Yeeaaaa…my ladies back home know what that means: It was a certified ::ahem:: “Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy Daaadddddddyyyyyyyyy!!!!” moment. ::In my announcer voice:: Bought to you by Spencer Mall! The only commercial retail space where you can hem, haul and haggle your way down to the right price! Located in “lovely,” scenic downtown Chennai!!

Ahaha…I had to laugh on that.

Anyyyy who, I got my life about me and moved toward some carvings on a shelf located in the far left corner of the shop. He came over, welcomed me to his shop and introduced himself as Friend, but I didn’t hear him because I was temporarily deafened by his hotness.<– Umm, this is a real medical phenomenon! I saw it on House. Do not laugh at me!

He, as I said before, was (still is) hot. He, too, has a strong jaw and chin (5 o’clock shadow a’la Robert Downey Jr. in ‘Sherlock Holmes’) with a cute dimple in the center, full pouty man lips (surrounding a perfect set of pearly whites), and bright, mischievous eyes with suuuuuuperrrrrrr long and pretty eyelashes, too (seriously, why do dudes get the great eyelashes?!). Though not as, um, muscle bound?, as Dude, he does have a very athletic build.

Buuuuuuuut, it’s not like I was paying attention or anything…

So, blah, blah, blah, I bought a couple shawls, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da, and a carving, blah, blah, he tells me he likes my lips (pause: you better stop), ya-da, ya-da, I get his number, blah, then The Voice and I go home.

YES ALONE!! <–What kind of girls do you think we are?!?

Ok, well, sorta…

I mean it was late at night and dark and The Voice’s “boo” was a 1,000% against us just hopping in a rickshaw and riding 30+ km (approximately 19 miles) “alone.” So he and Friend jumped in with us and rode back to THE FRONT GATE of our apartment complex.

Hmm…I’lln’t know (that’s right I said I’lln’t!)…I now that I think back on it, he may have been laying down his own game. Maybe. But it should be said that it can take (and did) an hour and a half to drive 19 miles!!! Traffic in India isn’t anything to play with!

We said good-bye, handshakes and hugs, and then they were on their way.

Wednesday evening Friend and I were talking and, because I need to know what The Voice is getting herself into, I asked him to tell me about Dude. He confirmed my initial thoughts of Dude and stressed the fact that he is a good guy, one of the best in fact. Apparently he is serious and very focused on achieving his goal of becoming an entrepreneur. As he was explaining Dude’s qualities, there was a genuine air of admiration, and even pride, in Friend’s voice as he explained and demystified his bro for me.

When a guy is willing to speak very candidly about his bro, and the only things he can say are positives, that’s a plus in my book…but only to an extent, because I know the rule:

Bros over Hoes.

And I’m pretty sure that pact crosses continents.

Whatever.

Act 4: B5 – GOOOOOOOOO!!!

Anyway, fast forward to Friday night AKA Group Date Night AKA “B5’s Boo Baggin’ Extravaganza”!!! LOL, this turned into a “group date” because Travel Buddy and Speculoos (This is a new cast member in my life’s shenanigans and a roommate. Speculoos is one of her favorite foods) REFUSED to allow The Voice and I to go out alone. Rightfully so, I suppose.

Yea so, we had chaperones…but they were cool.

Sooo…Hair done, nails done, everything did… we head out to the movies.

The Voice thought she was slick! The plan was to get to the mall, have dinner with the girls in the food court and then meet with the guys about a half before the movie started.

That didn’t happen!

The Voice got invited by Dude to a fancy dinner out on the town! White tablecloths, candles and multiple courses!!! She was treated to all of her absolute favorite dishes that Dude personally served to her (Ugh, he’s too sweet for his life)! Meanwhile, the rest of us are in the EXTRA, SUPER crowded food court, throwing bows to keep our chairs from being taken!! <– OMG! I’m so serious.

::Thinks to self:: Oh you didn’t know about it Voice? Seriously?!? That’s how we gon play this?

Aiight, Voice…you got that one.

“So why didn’t Friend take you out,” is what you’re asking? Ok pause: Friend and I aren’t that deep.

Dude had the tickets for the movie which meant Friend had to go to the fancy restaurant to pick them up.

Friend met myself, Travel Buddy and Speculoos at what can only be described as one of the NICEST movie theaters I’ve ever seen. It has its own restaurant!! Each of the 8 theaters were individually named (Crave was the one we were in). The seats in the theater there were huge, plush leather seats; and halfway through the movie there was a formal intermission!

About 15-20 minutes before intermission, Dude and The Voice show up.<– Side eye.

Have you ever watched someone who actually looked like they were 100% happy and you could tell just by how they walk? It can only be described as cute. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen people happy, but people who are “in like” with each other are my favorite to watch. Dude and The Voice are no different. I watched them as they came out of the theater during intermission, and I’ll tell you what…they made me sick!<– LOL, I’m such a hater.

Dude is such a gentleman. He asked The Voice if there was anything she wanted from the concession stand. Then he came over to myself, Speculoos, and Travel Buddy and asked us if there was anything he could get for us as well (Friend did ask me, but the concession stand was out of what I wanted). So Dude orders a bunch of stuff and Friend stood in line to wait for it, so he could get back to The Voice.

I couldn’t hear what was being said, but, from their body language, they were totally into each other: she was completely turned into him and he had his left arm around her while holding her right hand with his. He would whisper something to her and she would smile affectionately at him, coyly even, and then respond to him. He looked at her as if time had stopped and she was the only person who had, does and will ever matter to him. And I’ll be damned if she didn’t look at him the same way.

Yea, yea, yea I was on a date too, but I was intrigued by their dynamic… and Friend was all over the place. I think he has a touch of ADHD. Just a touch, though. Nothing too serious…

I hope.

Intermission ended and we all headed back into the theater…well myself, Friend, TB and Spec return.

::ahem::

The Voice and Dude eventually showed up…again.

Finally the movie was over (we saw Wall Street, and were all geeked because we knew what the Finance terms were and their significance), so we all headed out to the parking lot. Spec and TB exchanged pleasantries with the guys then headed to our rented cab while The Voice and I said our own good-byes.

We rode back to our apartment discussing the evenings events (really just getting the T on The Voice’s exclusive dinner excursion). Both The Voice and I were heckled a bit by TB and Spec, but it was all love. Then the fatigue from our hectic school week caught up with us and the last 6 or so km were silent.

Unbeknownst to her, I was, again, watching The Voice (OMG I’m such a creeper!). The anxiety that she was carrying due to that court case was long gone. She was happy; in every sense of the word. Well deserved happiness in my humble opinion. Everyone deserves happiness, right? She was smiling and, I don’t think, she meant to be doing it, but I know she damn sure couldn’t help it.

::Grins:: Kudos to you, Voice, kudos to you.

Epilogue:

Seeing this is epic for me: As one of the most cynical*** people I know, it’s weird, but I’m trying to get like these two. As a matter of fact, I’m going to take it to another level. I am willing to be their #1 head cheerleader for this genuine love (like) affair. I mean if I were looking for something to restore my belief, my faith even, in the idea that out there somewhere is someone for everyone, or more specifically me; I think I may have found my inspiration them.

Have you ever watched someone fall in love?

No?

Well, I am.

And I’ll tell you what…

It’s a beautiful thing.

Absolutely beautiful.

Speak your mind…

*Note: I said that they don’t care in a reckless way. They do care. There are some serious life considerations to be made; many more complications that are A.) too long and intricate for me to explain and B.) not my place to speak on. Maybe I’ll get one of them to come and do a guess post so you can get it strait from the source (::gasp:: LIGHTBULB!).

**Note: He’s not really Persian, because Persia does not exist any more. But remember that controversial little state by the name of Kashmir on the tippy top of India, fairly close to Pakistan? Yea, well, that’s where he and Friend are from.

***Note: Here is why I’m so cynical to “true love”: I don’t really believe it exists…or at least I didn’t (ehh, still kinda don’t. IDK, the consensus in B5 is that because I’m so opposed to the idea that when it happens to me, it’s gonna be curtains). I look at marriage as being a business deal, a large company merger if you will. There are expenses in life, both financially and emotionally, that must be addressed, and a merger is, seemingly, the best way by which to harness a double amount of capital (money and support) for these things to weather any situation that may present itself in the market. Now that’s one way to see it on the outside…on the outside where minimal sacrifice is presented. Internally, however, is a totally different ball of wax. Internally you have two “corporate” cultures that now need to mesh. There may be shareholders (kids) and subsidiaries (family and friends) that need to be considered as well as forecasting the possible outcomes of what may happen when these two entities become one. That need to bond and be extremely cohesive is immensely important in order to be prosperous, otherwise this thing won’t get off the ground, and bankruptcy/liquidation of assets, of one firm or another, will be well on its way (or in the human world it’s known as DIVORCE, fyi). The point I’m making is, I suppose, that so long as everyone is willing to put in the work and is willing to focus on growth for both the short and long -term, your company will be able to withstand anything…then again, WTF do I know? I only “Boo Bag.”

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About themeanblackgirl

My name says it all!
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2 Responses to When Girl Meets Boy…

  1. qcq says:

    Wow – when it rains it pours. You bring up some very interesting points to say the least. Now, I won’t go on a rant about religion and how I feel about it. But yeah, that sucks. Do we really need another thing on our plate that we need to worry about when we already have enough to worry about when it comes to relationships?

    But I will say this. It’s important to take one thing at a time. Are we talking about marriage right now? Or are we anticipating the issues that may come in the future.

    2 things:
    1) If this is a new relationship which it sounds like it is – these 2 people still have a lot to learn about each other. The initial chemistry is there (it’s apparent) but why not take it easy and enjoy each other and get to know each other through and through before worrying about what may happen?

    2) You would be surprised how people change, even when it comes to long standing traditions and beliefs. As time goes on both families can learn to respect and eventually love each other. But the operative word here is time. So the couple need to take the time to learn about one another. Then they need to learn about each other’s families and then their families can learn as well.

    On a separate note…I agree whole-heartedly that this “who you should marry” thing is ridiculous. It’s happening all over the world including India and the US. You were spot on about the whole black/white thing. And today legislation is telling gay couples they can’t marry. When will it end? When will people all over the world wake-up and just leave people alone to be happy.

    Keep em coming!

    • Thank you!! I agree with you. I may be getting ahead of myself with the marriage ideas, however, everything else I presented is very relevant, even for them to be dating.

      Crazy right?

      I also agree that EVENTUALLY each family would come around (or die off)… but what about the guilt that the children feel in the meantime? Let’s be honest, these ideals are engrained in these people since birth and it becomes an intrinsic part of who they are. Now they may not agree with it or want to obey it, but it may be the only thing they know. I’ll admit that the aforementioned point was not an angle I argued, but in my “research” it was a very prevalent reoccurring theme that cannot, although for the sake of a good story was, completely ignored…well really left out b/c those feelings were way too intangible and private for me to even begin to articulate.

      I’m with you though– people should be allowed to be with who they want regardless of any external factors/pressures. It’s their life; let ‘em do whatever they feel is right for them.

      Point. Blank. Period.

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